I didn’t feel like I had a choice I was young, I couldn’t support a child, the father of the child didn’t want me to have the baby….I had a psuedo-parent telling me what I was doing was morally wrong and I should have the baby and give it up for adoption. But you see I knew, I knew myself well enough to know, if I carried that child I could never give it up, my life would be changed forever…and that baby wouldn’t have what it needed. I ended the relationship with the baby’s father years later….I never had children, instead I have guilt… (more so because I subsequently had to make that choice again, and in a much worse set of circumstances…and yes I did learn and was using protection…but guess what…some of us – the really unlucky ones have it fail to work I don’t have as much guilt for that).
For the one when I was young…I will think about that child for the rest of my life what would he/she be doing?, look like, how would it be if I had listened to my heart instead of my head. Yes I did what was best in the situation but I never wanted to make that decision. I don’t know of anyone who ever has.
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